Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
there is glitter all over my balls
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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