i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
