I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
