Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you still have your period?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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