i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
