Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
