i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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