You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
