we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
