we have pet lesbian snakes
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
