she smelled like a LAN party
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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