hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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