I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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