it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
