When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
