well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
