The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
