I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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