i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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