Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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