About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
