I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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