guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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