she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
