i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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