I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
