I wish i was in the wii world.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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