i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
