Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
