you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Text me some of your sweat
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
