Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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