I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
