she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
