I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
