just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize