Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
