Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
