omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've blown a few things in my day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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