I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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