Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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