Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize