it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
