you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?