Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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  (561): Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign. http://tfl.nu/lnzh
  Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (846)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job

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  (904): Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job http://tfl.nu/2lgs
  Replies (43) Good night (969) Bad night (5303)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1305) Bad night (3884)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever

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  (303): Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever http://tfl.nu/gvxq
  Replies (21) Good night (10658) Bad night (2020)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.

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  (850): 2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers. http://tfl.nu/i0nm
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (2345)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.

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  (614): I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that. http://tfl.nu/pxw6
  Replies (7) Good night (949) Bad night (3812)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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  (503): I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions.. http://tfl.nu/v6no
  Replies (2) Good night (1895) Bad night (1100)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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  (519): Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay. http://tfl.nu/0328
  Replies (6) Good night (1257) Bad night (1345)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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  (301): I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked. http://tfl.nu/v26w
  Replies (13) Good night (3405) Bad night (982)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.

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  (330): I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce.. (1-330): that's the most romantic thing you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/mwxm
  Replies (12) Good night (1796) Bad night (639)
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  (949): View more from California

  I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's like the whiskey god was watching over you

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  (949): I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id. (702): It's like the whiskey god was watching over you http://tfl.nu/wgp4
  Replies (7) Good night (3336) Bad night (604)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears

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  (218): Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears http://tfl.nu/spts
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (1047)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?

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  (832): I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal? http://tfl.nu/mk58
  Replies (7) Good night (1016) Bad night (432)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.

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  (337): plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock. http://tfl.nu/69tv
  Replies (8) Good night (543) Bad night (1154)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town

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  (905): To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town http://tfl.nu/jicp
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (405)

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