Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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  (847): Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test http://tfl.nu/tst5
  Replies (13) Good night (3123) Bad night (481)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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  (716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd
  Replies (15) Good night (1648) Bad night (2541)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4297) Bad night (1083)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up

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  (262): The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up http://tfl.nu/qgka
  Replies (8) Good night (1009) Bad night (3465)
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  (925): View more from California

  it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.

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  (925): it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/nvwn
  Replies (10) Good night (1263) Bad night (1955)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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  (443): You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them. http://tfl.nu/l1v8
  Replies (2) Good night (1376) Bad night (616)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.

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  (804): I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary. http://tfl.nu/ps0w
  Replies (6) Good night (1513) Bad night (735)
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  (661): View more from California

  I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.

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  (661): I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere. http://tfl.nu/qnta
  Replies (12) Good night (2031) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.

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  (845): Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share. http://tfl.nu/wq4n
  Replies (8) Good night (2243) Bad night (1117)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free

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  (520): I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high. (520): Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free http://tfl.nu/tueu
  Replies (2) Good night (1303) Bad night (471)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka

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  (404): Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka http://tfl.nu/m383
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (853)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2493) Bad night (734)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.

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  (269): We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka. http://tfl.nu/2nmd
  Replies (7) Good night (1340) Bad night (607)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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  (812): Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad http://tfl.nu/owz5
  Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (518)
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  (408): View more from California

  YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

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  (408): YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU http://tfl.nu/x6d6
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (428)

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