Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.