Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
