ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
