I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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