I'm so fucking centered right now
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
