I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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