That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
