I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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