As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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