Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
