It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.