Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time