Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96
  Replies (58) Good night (7084) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just got walked in on during safety inspections

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Think you passed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Just got walked in on during safety inspections (828): Think you passed? http://tfl.nu/r9km
  Replies (20) Good night (3866) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is. http://tfl.nu/odjy
  Replies (9) Good night (4169) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again... http://tfl.nu/xp70
  Replies (3) Good night (2283) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp
  Replies (8) Good night (3151) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7
  Replies (16) Good night (4177) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek http://tfl.nu/7b27
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (480) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot http://tfl.nu/1f93
  Replies (3) Good night (1066) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (438): Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up. http://tfl.nu/xk7n
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass. http://tfl.nu/21od
  Replies (6) Good night (701) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20." http://tfl.nu/9pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break? http://tfl.nu/kbd5
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank http://tfl.nu/v8v3
  Replies (2) Good night (499) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends... http://tfl.nu/lfis
  Replies (1) Good night (839) Bad night (220)

Randomize