quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.