I skipped work to stalk him.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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