He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
