you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
