batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
