There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
