if only i could text you this smell
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
