I need help removing her.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
