I'm going to jail i love you
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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